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Happy Holidays! 

May the New Year fill your heart with joy!

Stay tuned for more

mrvolous musings next year,

 

               

                                                                                                                                                          Photo: Word Wise Tips

I published the blog post last November and I believe it still bears repeating.

'TWAS THE MONTH BEFORE CHRISTMAS 

I confess I'm not a fan of Christmas letters.  

During the holiday season, my husband and I receive a handful of single-spaced letters typed on the front and on the back.  

So many words.  

In some holiday letters, photos are added here and there and I can't help but wonder if the sender thinks this will break up the text in order to make the reading more bite-size and thus more pleasurable. 

When one arrives in the mail, I put it side.  A holiday letter is a time commitment.  I have to fit it into my schedule in order to read it from start to finish.  

But senders may have a different vision of how their letters are perceived.  Perhaps they imagine me eagerly tearing into the envelope, pulling out reading glasses, and being enthralled with the 1000-word letter that consists of exotic vacations, camping trips, biking trips, the 4th of July celebrations, concerts, news about the kids, the grandkids, the pets.  Wait...did I miss something?  Yes, the grand pets. 

In most cases, these letters are sent with love to inform and to stay connected, yet sometimes, they seem to come across as bragging, and to me that is a put-off.  

On the other hand, I love receiving Christmas cards.  You know, the sparkly ones with glitter that sticks to fingers and to every surface they touch.  These cards portray serene winter scenes with snowy trees and frosted wreaths, deer and cardinals, ice-skaters and villages.  Often times, the senders may even include a hand-written note.  And they can even be displayed on mantels and bookshelves.  As for showing off the long-winded Christmas letters?  Hmmm...I think not.  

There are probably a gazillion people who love receiving the holiday letters.  They may even look forward to them.  And I would too, if they were shorter and more interesting.  If they were addressed to me instead to friends.  

Sad to say, so many of the letters that my husband and I receive lack a sincere way to communicate during the holidays.  Many friends haven't discovered how to write concise letters that I would actually look forward to reading.  

If you're among those who enjoy writing a holiday letter, I applaud your efforts, but I have some questions for you: 

Is your letter merely a month-by-month account of your accomplishments and travels?  And, is it the stuff your readers can relate to?    

Christmas will soon be upon us and I hate to be the one to tell you, but nobody wants to slog through a long self-centered letter.  So, I challenge you to come up with a short humble recap of the year and write personalized note at the end.  

And if you can do that, I will find time to sit down and enjoy your letter.   

À la prochaine!

For more on writing a great holiday letter, check these tips.

 https://blog.cardsdirect.com/holidays-special-occasions/tips-for-great-christmas-letters/

 https://www.nonprofitcopywriter.com/write-a-Christmas-letter.html

A VERY BAD DAY

Dear followers, I had a "terrible, horrible no good very bad day."* 

I woke up to the home security alarm chirping.  All I could think about was the Friends episode when Phoebe's fire alarm goes off.  I was hoping to be more successful than Phoebe.

When I approached the control panel, I found a flashing message:  NO WI-FI.  I disarmed the alarm and the message disappeared.  Voilà!  Problem fixed—or so I thought.

I soon found out that I still didn't have Wi-Fi. Which meant, I couldn't read the digital newspaper or watch tv (not a big deal) or use the internet (a very big deal.)  Having no Wi-Fi bummed me out.  Not even the sweet and loving attention of my cats Ozzie and Lizzie could cheer me up.

To make matters worse, I'm not tech savvy and my husband was on a cycling trip out west.  I remembered to reboot the router, but it was unsuccessful.  I sent a text to my daughter who was able to facetime me and show me where to find the icons on the computer that help to connect to Wi-Fi, but this didn't work.  There is a 2 hour time difference between Kentucky and Montana.  I didn't want to wake up my husband.  My back up plan was to drive to the library, but it wouldn't open for another hour.  So in the meantime, I worked on the things that didn't required using the internet and then texted my husband a couple of hours later (Eastern time vs. Mountain time).  He encouraged me to call our provider.

After contacting Spectrum, the automated phone message said they would connect me to Wi-Fi on their end.  And...no success.  

I was feeling hopeless and frantic, but my husband (ever so patient) told me to reboot the router again.  And then I realized I had unplugged the wire to the Internet (which made sense to me) instead of the power wire.  After rebooting correctly and following my daughter's instructions, I was finally able to connect to Wi-Fi. 

This literally took all morning.  

By now, I was disappointed that I had lost so much time.  And on top of this, my daughter was supposed to fly from Atlanta to Boston.  Takeoff was delayed by 2 hours.  As any mother would feel, I was worried for her.  She'd be landing very late at night.  My anxiety mounted.  By the afternoon, I had a migraine, which was bad timing.  I had ballet class in the evening.    

Fortunately, the medicine Imitrex works well for me.  By the time class started, I was headache-free.  Being with my teacher and friends, concentrating on my technique, and performing dance movements lightened a troublesome day and then...

After class I learned that my teacher's husband would need open heart surgery.  Thinking about this serious operation got me thinking about the people in my life who are dealing with difficult situations:  my sister-in-law is mourning the loss of her brother who had died when he tried to move his car to the side of a highway.  My husband will need major wrist surgery.  I was flooded with guilt.  

Who am I to complain about having a bad day when others I care about have hardships?  

We all have our challenges.  Mine was small compared to others.  With the help of family, I managed to handle this rough morning.  And I gained insight into a few things, not just how to reconnect to the internet.  In the end, I learned to always try my best, have a backup plan, to look forward to dance, and to appreciate the love of friends, family (and cats).  I know there will always be problems that will crop up, but ultimately, there are solutions.  I'll get through it.  The biggest things for me to remember is to appreciate life and good health.  Every day is a treasure—even if it's a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day. 

À la prochaine! 

*Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Voirst 

Marie-Anne Lecoeur - The French Chic Expert

GOING FRENCH CHIC

I'm obsessed with French chic expert Marie-Anne Lecoeur.  One of my friends knows I adore all things French and thought I'd enjoy following her channel.  Now, I can't get enough of Marie-Anne Lecoeur's YouTube videos.  To date (2025) she has 265K subscribers and has recorded over 900 videos. Honestly,   I've watched more than 100 to learn about her French fashion tips.

Marie-Anne Lecoeur inspires me.  She shows women how to wear shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, cardigans, coats, shoes, scarves and hats fashionably.  She assures us that we can look young and stylish.  For example, she demonstrates that a button shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes can make a nice outfit.  Throw on a blazer, add a handbag and we can look très chic. 

She bases her advice on five style principles: 

1. French Women Ignore Trends.
2. Less is More.
3. Wear Color and Pattern Sparingly.
4. Practical Footwear is Chic.
5. French Style Combines Casual and Elevated Items.

By following her fashion tips, I've learned how to elevate my style.  If I'm running an errand, going out for lunch or to class, or shopping for groceries, I put together cute outfits with a matching belt and shoes.  Even my hair stylist noticed.  When I strolled into the salon he said, "Well, don't we look fancy!" 

I take note of the styles, colors, and fabric of the clothes Marie-Anne wears and try to mimic her look.  Finding similar tops have been fairly easy, but the hardest part for me is finding the right shoe for the outfit. 

Marie-Anne wears white trainers and blue Converse sneakers to complete a casual look.  I already have a pair of white tennis shoes so they'll coordinate well with many of my outfits.  I found a pair of navy-blue Converse tennis shoes, but it took many returns to get the right size.  For me, they ran 2 sizes bigger (I wear size 8 and had to buy a size 6).  My next goal is to find stylish brown loafers and perhaps a pair of comfy black sneakers.  I now know that cute shoes can really make a nice-looking outfit.    

Marie-Anne offers great suggestions but I don't always follow her advice.  She is taller than me and can pull off wearing long skirts and dresses.  She also wears a lot of satin blouses, which look fabulous on her, but that kind of material is too fancy for me for casual wear.  However, most of the time I can find blouses and shirts made of linen, cotton or polyester that are just as pretty and I pair them together with jeans and a belt to pull off a nice outfit.  In fact, many of the clothes can be found on Amazon for much less than at a French boutique.

Just so you know, I don't make watching her videos a daily habit.  But when I need to take a break from writing (or if writer's block sets in) I tune in to listen to her styling advice.  It is not a waste of time for me.  I not only learn new ways to create outfits, I can listen to her speak French when she visits boutique owner Adeline le Tourneur.  Listening to their conversations is a huge bonus for me because it is a great way to improve my French.  

Marie-Anne is lively, knowledgeable, and fun.  I adore her taste and sensibility.  In fact, she has given me beaucoup de confidence in putting together outfits.  And people have been noticing.  Just today a saleswoman complimented my shirt.  So if you're fashion-conscious, check out her videos.  They are relatively short and I think you'll like them.  Who knows?  Maybe, you'll be inspired to elevate your style, too.    

À la prochaine! 

Fashion Friday with Marie-Anne:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9TNvbM9T3I

PICKY, PICKY  

I have to admit I'm particular about grocery shopping.

I don't make a list on my phone—it's handwritten.  (Okay, it's old-fashioned)

At the top of the page are the dinner menus for each day of the week.  Below that, I list fruits and veggies, the first department customers approach when they enter the store.  My goal is to make my list mirror the layout of the store to make grocery shopping fast and efficient.

After completing the list, I circle foods with a pink marker to check how many we have on hand like apples, oranges, and soups to get an accurate count.  Then, I rewrite the list.  Why?  I'm a neat-freak.  Writing the list twice sounds crazy, but for me it has to be easy to read.  I want to glance at the list, reach for the item, and move on to the next one.  Quickly.

One neat grocery list. 

If you were to map my steps, you'd find that I begin in produce, stroll through the bakery, go to the meat department, the bread aisle, condiment aisle, canned goods, cereals, baking goods, paper products, pet products, snacks, dairy, frozen foods and if needed, the pharmacy department.  All of which takes about twenty-five minutes. 

There is also a system to loading my cart.  I place two small sacks in the child-seat and they are perfect for holding apples, plums, peaches, broccoli, asparagus, and green peppers.  A sturdy bag goes in the basket of the cart for larger produce items.  Smaller cloth bags are for dairy and frozen foods, meats, and boxes of cereal and pasta and canned goods.  Laundry detergent and milk don't need to be bagged since they have handles. Birdseed and paper towels ride under the cart.  

For the most part, shopping for groceries is easy and quick.  But there are times when it can be challenging.  Occasionally, the store has run out of the item that I need.  Most of the time it is not a big deal.  But if the store doesn't carry a major ingredient for a recipe I'll be cooking that week, I might get a little panicky.  This forces me to come up with a new recipe on the spot without being able to refer to a cookbook for the ingredients.  A lot of times my go-to recipe is spaghetti and meat sauce, which requires purchasing only three ingredients: crushed tomatoes, spaghetti, and beef. 

One of the biggest challenge I've had is learning the placement of foods after Kroger decides to rearrange the aisles.  It takes me weeks to remember the new homes of grocery items.  This change makes it more difficult for me to make out my shopping list because I have to remember the new layout of the store.  And sometimes, the new arrangement doesn't make any sense.  To this day, I'm still confused as to why the diced tomatoes aren't placed in the canned veggie aisle and why the yogurt is not with the dairy department.

Go ahead, you can say it:  picky, picky.  It's true.  I won't deny it.  Going to the grocery takes over an hour (counting the drive and the time it takes to clean, shelf, and refrigerate the groceries) and several sheets of note paper, but it usually goes smoothly and I've got it down to a science—and that makes this writer one happy shopper.

À la prochaine! 

 

                                                                                                                            Photo: valleyspringrecovery.com

NARCISSISM UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL 

I can honestly say I'm not a fan of narcissistic people.

And I found out recently, after a trip to Ireland, that two men in my life are narcissists!  Thomas lives out of town and the Charley is a relative and both have caused me heartache and grief. 

It's amazing and fortuitous how God puts people (for good or for bad) in our life. We were in Dublin hoping to have dinner at the Brazen Head, the oldest pub in Ireland.  Because of its popularity, there was a chance we wouldn't get in.  But when we entered, a table had just opened.  We sat nearly elbow to elbow with other patrons.  In Europe, I don't mind the coziness.  It's part of the ambience and I love it. 

While my husband Jim and I waited for our meals, we talked about our daughter's trip to North Carolina and how that vacation would be good for her.  A woman seated at the table next to me touched my arm and said, "I can't help but comment, but I heard you mention North Carolina and that's where I live."  So, we struck up a conversation and I found out she was a behavioral therapist.  Curious to get her opinion, I asked her what she could make of Thomas and Charley's controlling and non-empathetic personality traits.  She summed it with one word:  narcissism.  

It's funny that it took a trip to Ireland to make sense of these individuals.  Now, I had to figure how to deal with them.  

First, I wanted to understand Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) better.  I found an article posted at Valley Spring Recovery Center, a mental health treatment facility.  The site states: "NPD is associated with grandiosity, an insatiable need for admiration, and difficulty in empathizing with others. This disorder manifests in various forms, including grandiose narcissism, which is marked by self-importance and entitlement, and vulnerable narcissism, where individuals exhibit sensitivity to criticism and an underlying sense of insecurity.

"The main characteristics of NPD include an inflated sense of self-importance, preoccupation with fantasies of success and power, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain, as mentioned in an article by PsychCentral titled “5 Types of Narcissism and How to Spot Each.” Individuals with NPD also display arrogant behavior and a profound inability to recognize the feelings and needs of others, contributing to dysfunctional relationships."

Wanting to learn more, I found another interesting article in which Dr. Zach Rosenthal, a clinical psychologist at Duke Health discusses the symptoms of NPD, how it is diagnosed, and the individualized approach he takes for treating the disorder.  He describes the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder using the acronym “SPECIAL ME.” 

1. Sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success 
3. Entitled
4. Can only be around people who are important or special
5. Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
6. Arrogant
7. Lack empathy
8. Must be admired
9. Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them  

There you have it.  A very rough idea about narcissism.  So, how to move forward?  

The experts say to stay assertive and set boundaries.  They advise to avoid confrontation.  Trust me, I would never consider having a discussion that had could escalate into an argument.  I know from past experiences it would not go well.   

I realize some don't mind being around narcissistic people.  They can be very charming.  For me, I do my best to steer clear.  Still, interactions will occur that can't be avoided and I will always take note of the controlling, the bad conduct, and the lack of empathy.  At least I can chalk it up to that's just how it is.  At least I get this kind of mindset.  Understanding empowers me.  By adjusting my attitude and being aware of predictable patterns, I can mitigate the chances of getting hurt again.   

À la prochaine!

https://valleyspringrecovery.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/

https://www.dukehealth.org/blog/9-signs-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Dear followers,

Today, I had to say goodbye to Putty.  

I am heartbroken.  

I had been taking care of my beloved stray for over ten years.  

He had kidney failure and his eyes were vacant.  

He was in pain.  

I'm going miss seeing him press his face against the kitchen door and sleep on the deck. 

I'm going to miss my sweet Putty boy.